Leaked Government Memos
A.E. Holmes has been monitored by the government for almost 20 years. During that time a number of memos, regarding his activities, were acquired illicitly. Here are some samples:
INTERNAL MEMORANDUM — CLASSIFIED
FROM: Div. 3 — Cognitive Stabilization Unit
TO: Undersecretary Rendon, Bureau of Narrative Oversight
RE: Subject-A.E. Holmes – Reverse Indoctrination Trial Outcome
Clearance Level: Indigo-Grey (Conceptual Threats & Satirical Entities)
Date: [REDACTED]
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY:
Subject A.E. Holmes was enrolled in the Reverse Indoctrination Conditioning Protocol (RICP) following the failure of prior Softening Initiatives (see: Euphemism Avalanche, Laughter Nullification Taskforce).
Expectations were high that exposure to 72 hours of concentrated bureaucracy-speak, algorithmically generated propaganda aphorisms, and government-agency onboarding manuals would blunt subject’s ideation spike.
Instead, Subject Holmes completed the protocol in 47 minutes and submitted a satirical critique of the program before instructors had finished their introductions.
KEY FINDINGS:
- During Phase I (Alternative Facts), Holmes rewrote three slogans into metaphor bombs. One ignited mild enlightenment in a facilitator.
- In Phase II (Narrative Compliance Regression), subject questioned whether compliance was an act of peace or surrender. Trainers cried quietly.
- During Phase III (Managed Empathy Exposure), Holmes told a laminated story of resilience–backwards. Test group reported dizziness and clarity.
RECOMMENDATION:
Subject should no longer be classified as a Satirical Threat Vector. Instead, designate as Narrative Adaptive Agent (NAA-Δ) — one who co-opts indoctrination attempts as raw material for further literary destabilization.
Suggest immediate cessation of containment efforts. Deploy only symbolic resistance (e.g., strongly worded op-eds, think tank disinvitations, and occasional spelling his name wrong in articles and reports).
We made a machine to unmake him. He made a metaphor and unmade the machine.
Respectfully defeated,
Dr. Marin Vale
Lead Architect, Narrative Compliance Lab
***
This led a lab technician who was in the same program to have an instantaneous insight to what had really been going on.
This is what Technician 431J wrote:
Unscheduled Debrief – Technician #431J (Unofficial Addendum)
Filed under: RICP Session #774-AEH
Author: [Name Redacted, Pen Used]
Clearance Level: Supposedly Indigo-Grey
I know I’m not supposed to submit personal observations, but after what I saw… you can delete the file or red-pencil it into oblivion. That won’t undo what A.E. Holmes did in that room.
He didn’t resist the training. He rewrote it in real time. When we initiated the Government-speak Indoctrination Loop, he began annotating the slogans with footnotes. Not snark. Not rebellion. Precision. He underlined “Believe for Better Tomorrow” and quietly asked: “According to whom?” Half the facilitators paused. One started crying and blamed allergies.
During Phase II, when we piped in mainstream media tropes on a loop, Holmes just leaned back and closed his eyes. When asked why, he said, “I’m listening for the silence between the tropes. That’s where the truth tends to hide.”
I’m not a dissident. I’m a tech. I calibrate euphemism diffusion. I memorize the sanctioned synonyms for “collapse” and “complicity.” But something cracked while Holmes was in that room.
I started writing this on company paper with a pen they don’t monitor. That’s how far it’s gone. I’m using ink.
I left a Post-it under the RICP terminal. It reads:
“If meaning survives this place, follow it.”
I hope someone does.
I won’t mention this again. I’m due for an attitude audit. I’ll pass. I always pass. But after Holmes, I don’t think I’ll pass as me.
— 431J
(Name erased by hand. Rewritten in pencil: “Still thinking.”)
***
This situation led to a reprimand memo from the government:
CLASSIFIED PERSONNEL ACTION REPORT
Subject: Technician 431J (Alias: “Still Thinking”)
Department: Cognitive Stabilization, RICP Division
Violation Code: 7.3.1.b – Uncontrolled Interpretive Drift
Issued By: Office of Internal Coherence, Enforcement Cell 2-B
SUMMARY OF INFRACTION:
Technician 431J has been observed exhibiting symptoms of Narrative Disalignment Syndrome following direct exposure to Subject A.E. Holmes. A post-experiment audit revealed the technician submitted an unsanctioned field reflection containing:
- Unvetted critical inquiry
- Unauthorized metaphor usage
- An original aphorism (“If meaning survives this place, follow it.”) flagged by three automated inspiration filters
Further, 431J was witnessed using non-digital ink while composing a physical note left beneath Bureau equipment, a Level II Medium of Disruption under current protocol.
“Displays early-stage Holmes contagion. May require inspirational detachment or sustained exposure to sterile copywriting.”
Report filed, sealed, and grammatically neutralized,
Enforcer: S. Renlow
Internal Coherence Liaison (Temp-to-Permanent Pending)
******
And Directly from the Department of Disinformation itself:
INTERNAL MEMO: AGENT K5631 FINAL REPORT
To: Harold Driscoll, Director of Literary Threat Assessment
From: Agent K5631- Department of Disinformation
Subject: Subject A.E. Holmes – Status Update
Clearance Level: Frustrated
Director Driscoll,
I regret to inform you that Subject A.E. Holmes has once again eluded containment. His latest exploit—a manuscript disguised as a compliance training manual—was distributed to over 300 federal employees. Morale has plummeted. Several agents now refer to themselves as “Government Chumps.”
Attempts to decode his latest work, The Ministry of Misinterpretation, have failed. Our semantic filters melted. One analyst began speaking exclusively in allegory. Another submitted a resignation letter written entirely in footnotes.
Here is an excerpt from this subversive manuscript:
“The Ministry does not interpret. It rearranges. It takes your words, your intentions, your confessions—and alphabetizes them by threat level. A sigh becomes sedition. A metaphor becomes a manifesto. A misplaced comma becomes a call to arms.”
“We do not censor. We clarify. We do not silence. We streamline. We do not erase. We optimize.”
“And when the Ministry finally understands you, you will no longer recognize yourself.”
We tried to infiltrate his website using the “Report a Subversive” form. It redirected us to a quiz titled “Are You a Threat to the Regime?”
I took the quiz and scored “Extremely Dangerous”. I have been reassigned to Poetry Analysis.
Holmes is no longer just a literary saboteur. He is a contagion. A virus of meaning. A rogue archivist with a word processor and a vendetta.
Recommend immediate escalation to Maximum Metaphor Containment Protocols.
Also, recommend therapy for myself.
Agent K5631
(Still recovering from Chapter 7)
***
The above memos were from the mid to late 2000s. More recently Holmes has attracted attention on the global scale. As more American politicians began to work closely with the WEF and the oligarchs; concern about Holmes’ speech was on their radars.
Here are a few sample memos:
CLASSIFIED // LEVEL 7: NARRATIVE INTEGRITY THREAT ASSESSMENT
Subject: Profile Update – A.E. Holmes (Codename: “The Ironist”)
Source: Bureau of Consensus Maintenance (BCM), Directorate of Public Opinion Harmonization
Initial Assessment: Continued monitoring indicates subject A.E. Holmes represents a Category 4 (Acute Narrative Deconstruction) threat. While lacking conventional influence vectors (e.g., economic power, established media platform), subject’s outputs consistently demonstrate high-fidelity satirical resonance, impacting critical public thought algorithms.
Key Concerns:
- Irreverence Cascade: Subject’s work initiates an “irreverence cascade” in target demographics, reducing efficacy of standard messaging. Attempts to introduce counter-narratives are met with subject’s characteristic “sarcasm shielding,” rendering our standard engagement protocols obsolete.
- Euphemism De-optimization: Psycholinguistic analysis confirms subject’s “allergy to euphemisms” translates into an active “de-optimization” of our carefully constructed lexicon. Phrases like “enhanced resource reallocation” are consistently reframed as “mass layoffs,” leading to undesirable clarity.
- Metaphor Contraband: The suspected “smuggling of banned metaphors across ideological borders” is proving particularly disruptive. These unapproved allegories bypass standard intellectual filters, causing spontaneous outbursts of independent thought, a phenomenon we had largely mitigated.
- Unpredictability Coefficient: Subject’s deployment of irony lacks predictable patterns, making pre-emptive narrative inoculation difficult. His “weaponization” is less about direct confrontation and more about subtle, corrosive erosion of baseline credulity.
Recommended Action: Continue Passive Monitoring (Category Green, Level Gamma-7). Active engagement carries too high a risk of confirming subject’s perceived efficacy, potentially accelerating his “risk level.” Initiate “Disinformation-Lite” counter-narrative (Phase III: “The Benign Misunderstanding”).
***
MEMORANDUM – URGENT ADVISORY
To: All Department Heads, Committee for Global Alignment (CGA)
From: Secretariat of Unified Futures
RE: Anomalous Public Engagement Pattern – H-Unit (Holmes)
Our algorithms have detected an alarming trend in public discourse directly correlated with the recent transmissions from H-Unit (A.E. Holmes). Specifically, a measurable spike in questioning of established protocols and a concerning decline in the public’s willingness to accept pre-vetted consensus points.
This individual’s “chronic resistance to groupthink” appears to be highly contagious, causing localized outbreaks of critical analysis. While his content is superficially “humorous,” its underlying structure is that of a highly sophisticated, non-compliant data-disruption agent. His ability to distill complex bureaucratic inefficiency into digestible, yet devastating, narratives is unmatched.
ACTION REQUIRED: All policy documents must now undergo an additional “Holmes Protocol Review” to identify and neutralize potential vulnerabilities to “weaponized irony” before public release. Special attention must be paid to phrases that could be construed as “euphemistic” or “buzzwords.” We are drafting a new, more robust “Euphemism Efficacy Index” in response.
***
INTERNAL BRIEF – PROJECT ORWELLIAN REDUX
To: Oversight Committee, Project Echo Chamber (PEC)
From: Senior Analyst, Linguistic Conformance Division
Subject: Impact Assessment: A.E. Holmes and the “Dangerous Levels of Independent Thought” Phenomenon
Our preliminary findings indicate that the “dangerous levels of independent thought” predicted in Holmes’s psycholinguistic profile are indeed manifesting. Data shows that populations exposed to Holmes’s work exhibit:
- Elevated Cynicism Index (ECI): A statistically significant increase in distrust of official statements, even those previously confirmed by our “Reality Consensus Algorithm.”
- Decreased Jargon Compliance (DJC): A noticeable drop in the spontaneous adoption of approved terminology and a preference for “plain language” that often exposes underlying structural flaws.
- Metaphorical Contamination: The proliferation of “banned metaphors” is causing unintended conceptual links in public understanding, bridging disparate policy areas in ways that undermine siloing.
This is not mere dissent; it is a cognitive re-wiring initiated by the subject’s unique satirical methodology. The “ghosts of George Orwell and Hunter Thompson” appear to be co-authoring a particularly insidious form of intellectual insurgency. We recommend further research into “protective sarcasm shielding” as a viable countermeasure, though current prototypes are unstable and cause excessive eye-rolling in our test subjects.
These are but a small sample of classified communications involving Holmes.
In short, governments monitor him. Bureaucrats fear him. No one knows how to contain him. Every attempt to decode his work ends in confusion, existential dread, or poetic awakening. Surveillance teams have been reassigned to poetry analysis. Semantic filters have melted. One AI resigned after reading Chapter 7.
A.E. Holmes is not a man. He’s a condition. A glitch in the archive. A whisper in the margins. And he’s still at large.
